Brian Kim offers an article entitled “Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts.”
By nature I’m an introvert and I think this is a good read. I was particularly struck by this point:
If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small talk. Introverts tend to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met.
. . .
Extroverts thrive on small talk.
Introverts abhor it.
This is generally true for me, though I hadn’t consciously linked it to being an introvert. The fact is that I’m sometimes reluctant to engage in the “how’s it going”-, “how about this weather”-type conversations because they seem so painfully obvious that I feel silly starting them unless I think they will quickly lead elsewhere. I know that’s not the mindset of a good conversationalist, but it’s my inclination.
In a broader sense, I suppose this characteristic is a reason I am deemed “shy” in some social situations. If I don’t feel I have something compelling to add to a discussion, I may not add anything–which may lead me to be branded as “quiet.” As Kim notes, this is a really more of social preference rather than an indicator of what I think about the people at the gathering.