The Art of Manliness has a two well-written posts on the importance of eye contact.
Look ‘Em in the Eye: Part I – The Importance of Eye Contact
Look ‘Em in the Eye: Part II – How to Make Eye Contact the Right Way in Life, Business, and Love
I’ve known that eye contact is a good way to demonstrate you are paying attention to what others are saying, but as TAOM points out, its benefits extend far beyond that:
Numerous studies have shown that people who make higher-levels of eye contact with others are perceived as being:
- More dominant and powerful
- More warm and personable
- More attractive and likeable
- More qualified, skilled, competent, and valuable
- More trustworthy, honest, and sincere
- More confident and emotionally stable
And not only does increased eye contact make you seem more appealing in pretty much every way to those you interact with, it also improves the quality of that interaction. Eye contact imparts a sense of intimacy to your exchanges, and leaves the receiver of your gaze feeling more positive about your interaction and connected to you.
Furthermore, eye contact is a good tool to gauge other people’s thoughts and emotions (“the eyes are the window to the soul”).
What makes eye contact so difficult? TAOM posits a three common reasons:
- Hiding deceit
- Masking emotions
- Insecurity
Although I often strive to appear unemotional, the more common of the above three reasons for me is insecurity. Not insecurity in the “I’m a lower-status” sense, but sometimes I worry people might think I’m staring at them. That shouldn’t bother me.
To that end, the second blog post (above) offers tips on how to effectively make contact. Intermittently shifting your gaze helps your focus come across as more natural, less creepy.
Many people (myself included) can benefit from improving this important life skill.