A contestant makes a splash in a belly-flop contest but never makes it back to shore to claim his prize:
Dorl Gates, 52, was the fourth contestant Saturday in the Diamond Jim bar’s World Belly-Flop Contest. The bar, on Illinois 51 by the Beloit/Townline Bridge, had advertised the contest with fliers and promised the winner $300. Rock County Sheriff’s Department Commander Tom Gehl said the contest originally was supposed to take place on the pier at the back of the bar, but some of the contestants wanted to jump off the bridge.
Gehl said the bridge is about 20 feet above the river, which is about 15 feet deep along that stretch of the river.
There were no boats ready to pick up contestants, he said, and the first three managed the jump and got to shore. But Gates jumped, bobbed up a couple of times and disappeared.
. . .
He said the department has conflicting information about how much Gates might have been drinking, and it also is still trying to determine if he could swim.
Not to make too much light of the tragedy, but if you can’t swim and are drunk, it’s probably not a good idea to jump into a river. Organizers of the next World Belly-Flop Contest might want to point that out.
Sooner or later, I’m sure, I’ll be found out. The word will be out that I went around via Google to the various anti-Bush weblogs, and much like a busy little bee, deposited a comment in those weblogs that allow for such.
At one particular weblog, I visited, the bloggeuse was in despair. Seemingly, indisputable files documenting Dumb’ya’s misgovernance grow thicker and even more nauseating daily. Nonetheless, his lead in the polls increases. What could be going on? What could be the explanation?
Well, here’s some of the comment I left. “Nobody cares to admit that their country willfully elevated a nincompoop to head of state. It’s sort’a like admitting tha’cher favorite aunt gets her jollies from fellating alligators.”
And here’s the permissible portion of the comment I left.
“I’d like you to consider reading the text for a “state of the union” address that I believe is imperative for this country of ours. To get to it, all you need do is click on the below enclosed U.R.L
http://www.bcvoice.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=205
By the way, the proprietors of the http://www.BCVoice.com website have provided a couple ways for you to leave your comments.”