Culture Of Life Priorities

Because some lives are more important than others:

Though Congress rushed to intervene in the case of a brain-damaged Florida woman, those lobbying on life-and-death medical issues that affect thousands or even millions of people often find themselves struggling to get lawmakers’ attention.
It often comes down to the willingness of the government and lawmakers to spend money, say those who must make the pitch to Congress and federal agencies.
The National Aneurysm Alliance has been pressing Congress for months to approve federal funding to screen Medicare patients for deadly abdominal aortic aneurysms, but so far has come up empty on money for the roughly $80 to $100 tests. Contrasting that fight with congressional leaders’ weekend rush earlier this month to try to get Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube restored, the alliance’s leader can’t hide his frustration.
“Our best estimate is that about 15,000 Americans die each year from ruptured aneurysms, and I grew up in a town in central Connecticut where the entire population was about 30,000, so that’s about half my town keeling over,” said Dr. Robert Zwolak, chairman of the alliance and a surgery professor at Dartmouth Medical School.
“Those lives would all be saved if we could find them by screening,” Zwolak added. “Yes, the Schiavo case is tragic, but the reality is on average about 40 people a day are going to be dying of ruptured aneurysms.”

I offer the following plan to Dr. Zwolak or anyone else trying to get Congress’ attention:
(1) Find a poster child for your campaign. Preferably a white female child, but anyone with a sympathetic family will do.
(2) Develop a talking points narrative on how the system (nameless bureaucrats, judges, lawyers, and other such scum) have screwed the victim of step 1.
(3) Solicit the help of religious rightist spokespeople. Frame the issue in terms of life versus death. Anyone who opposes your position supports murder.
(4) Have the conflict picked up by the local paper, followed by local talk radio, blogs, AP, national talk radio, Fox News, et al.
(5) Establish a www.saveX.com website. Have supporters contact their representatives.
(6) Orchestrate demonstrations so the national news media has an ongoing event with video pictures to “cover.” Once the story gains national currency, you don’t need a lot of protesters to warrant news coverage. The networks will carry them even when the number of journalists exceeds the number of demonstrators. Just make sure you have plenty of provocative placards and someone to stir things up every few hours.
Following the above plan does not guarantee that Congress will cut short a recess, pass emergency legislation, or even listen to you. But it’s much more likely to be effective than in presenting reports on lives saved and boring stuff like that.

Fanaticism

This would qualify:

More than 600 companies and individuals are licensed to make items bearing UT’s marks.
That merchandise includes everything from caps to coffins and dishes to dog collars. There’s furniture, computer games, artwork, trailer hitch covers, occasional food items like Mayfield Dairy Farms’ Rocky Top ice cream and an unbelievable array of apparel.

Coffins? That’s hardcore.

Up And Away

The government is in the process of issuing regulations for space tourism:

The FAA’s Associate Administrator for Commercial Space Transportation (AST) has already issued draft guidelines for those ready-and-wanting space tourists among us.
Under a new regulatory regime, you as a paying passenger will be able to zoom into space sitting inside a commercial space vehicle once you’ve been informed of and assume the significant risks of the venture. Additional rules yet to come, FAA officials explain, will help promote the emerging commercial human space flight industry, putting it on a solid regulatory footing.

Expect different rules for short up-and-down suborbital voyages, versus extended orbital tours. No word yet if nail clippers will be allowed.
I would allow a large number of successful flights first before venturing outside the atmosphere, so they can work all of the kinks out of the system.

Trial And Error

Tip for first date: if you arrange to meet someone at a restaurant, it’s a good idea to show up at the right restaurant.
Last week I call up date victim and we agree to have dinner. I ask if there’s a particular place she wants to go. She says, “Yes, there’s a Mexican place I like on Lost Street. At the moment I don’t remember what it’s called, but it’s not X.”
So at the appointed time I roll into Lost Street and notice that there are indeed two Mexican restaurants, X and Y. But for some reason my memory recalled date victim saying “it’s not Y.” So I promptly park at X.
I walk in, look around, but find no date. I wait for a few minutes at the door. Still no date. I go back inside and look around again. Still no date.
Finally, 20+ minutes after the appointed time, I get the brilliant idea, “you know, maybe I should go check that other restaurant.” So I head down the street, pop in the door, and alas–there’s date victim, where she’s apparently been waiting for the last 30 minutes.
Fortunately, date victim seemed pretty gracious, given the circumstances and the date proceeded without too much damage. But this is definitely something I don’t recommend you try at home.

At The Summitt

Congratulations to Tennessee Lady Vols head coach Pat Summitt for becoming the NCAA’s all-time winningest coach. I was in attendance for number 880. A pretty good crowd was on hand to witness the historic milestone.
I don’t really get naming a basketball courts after people. But if anyone deserves it, she does. What a great ambassador for the University of Tennessee.