{"id":2716,"date":"2018-04-07T02:19:20","date_gmt":"2018-04-07T06:19:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/?p=2716"},"modified":"2018-04-07T02:19:20","modified_gmt":"2018-04-07T06:19:20","slug":"palindromic-rheumatisms","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/2018\/04\/palindromic-rheumatisms\/","title":{"rendered":"Palindromic Rheumatisms"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So far 2018 has been a physical challenge for me.<\/p>\n<p>The year got off to an inauspicious start.\u00a0 On January 10, while I was riding my bicycle, I felt a sudden pain in my left knee.\u00a0 It subsided for the rest of the ride, but over the next day it became apparent that something wasn&#8217;t right when I bent my leg.<\/p>\n<p>You may wonder&#8211;how could someone injure a knee peddling a bicycle?\u00a0 It&#8217;s a non-impact motion.\u00a0 But in 2016 I fractured upper tibia, near the knee.\u00a0 Moreover, due to long-term glucocorticoid use, my bone density is below average (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.webmd.com\/osteoporosis\/tc\/osteopenia-overview#1\">osteopenia<\/a>).\u00a0 I&#8217;m more prone to get bone fractures.\u00a0 The discomfort I felt was reminiscent of that previous injury.<\/p>\n<p>So, to be prudent, I decided to keep weight off my left leg.\u00a0 I used crutches and a knee brace.\u00a0 My knee started feeling better.\u00a0 After a couple weeks of &#8220;rest,&#8221; it felt solid enough that I shed the crutches for a couple days.<\/p>\n<p>Bad call.\u00a0 I re-aggravated it either through overuse or by carrying extra weight.\u00a0 It felt worse than before.\u00a0 I resumed using crutches\/knee brace and finally made an appointment to see the orthopedic doctor.\u00a0 The knee felt so fragile I was worried there was a crack and I&#8217;d need surgery to fix it.<\/p>\n<p>Surprisingly, at two exams (first using X-ray, then an MRI) the doctor didn&#8217;t find any fractures.\u00a0 My knee was basically intact (the MRI did reveal a tear in my meniscus, but this alone could not have been the cause of my discomfort).<\/p>\n<p>I was relieved to learn that my knee was &#8220;okay.&#8221;\u00a0 But the good fortunate I felt from my positive diagnosis soon evaporated in the face of my greater nemesis: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/rheumatoid-arthritis\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20353648\">rheumatoid arthritis<\/a> (RA).<\/p>\n<p>Although my knee movement continued to improve, the swelling did not go away.\u00a0 To the contrary, system-wide, my joint inflammation was getting worse.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.enbrel.com\/\">Enbrel<\/a> I was taking to combat RA was losing its effectiveness.<\/p>\n<p>At my rheumatologist appointment on February 22, we decided to stop the Enbrel treatments and try a different bioloic drug, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.actemra.com\/\">ACTEMRA<\/a>.\u00a0 It&#8217;s now been almost six weeks since I started taking Actemra and I have yet to see much of a reduction in inflammation.\u00a0 Typically, in patients where the drug does work, symptoms improve in 2 &#8211; 12 weeks.\u00a0 So the jury is still out on whether it will help me.<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime, I&#8217;ve been relying on ~20-25 m.g. of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.medicinenet.com\/prednisone\/article.htm\">prednisone<\/a> (per day) to maintain my joint flexibility.\u00a0 It&#8217;s not a great option&#8211;the drug carries a host of side effects.\u00a0 I&#8217;ve gained weight, become moodier, more easily frustrated, and can&#8217;t sleep for more than a few hours at a time.\u00a0 It&#8217;s disconcerting to be wide awake after only two or three hours of rest.\u00a0 I&#8217;m operating on about half the sleep I was getting in the fall.<\/p>\n<p>But by far the biggest problem I&#8217;ve had in the last month is the emergence of painful hip flair ups.\u00a0 I&#8217;ve had roughly ten episodes, mostly at night.\u00a0 My rheumatologist said they may be <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hopkinsarthritis.org\/physician-corner\/rheumatology-rounds\/round-1-palindromic-rheumatism\/\">palindromic rheumatism<\/a>. They have a distinctly different character from my normal RA joint inflammation.<\/p>\n<p>A full-bore attack is rapid and debilitating.\u00a0 In the span of six hours, I&#8217;ve gone from normal walking to barely being able to move with crutches.\u00a0 The pain is brutal and I lose my ability to move the affected leg.\u00a0 It takes all the willpower I&#8217;ve got just to get in and out of bed.\u00a0 When it hits, all I&#8217;m able to do is find the least painful position possible and wait for the drugs to start providing relief (two hours+).\u00a0 I recommend avoiding this experience, if at all possible.<\/p>\n<p>Not every day in the past month has been bad.\u00a0 There are hopeful signs.\u00a0 The &#8220;palindromic rheumatisms&#8221; are less frequent than they were.\u00a0 After a two-month hiatus, I&#8217;ve resumed bicycling and have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.strava.com\/athletes\/868173\">done several rides<\/a> in the last three weeks.\u00a0 A few days I&#8217;ve almost felt &#8220;normal&#8221; again.\u00a0 And then, the next day, I don&#8217;t.\u00a0 The uncertainty of not knowing what I&#8217;ll be able to do from one day to the next takes a toll.<\/p>\n<p>Which brings me to the psychological challenge this presents. \u00a0 At times mental obstacles are more daunting than the physical ones.\u00a0 The biggest trap I fall into begins when I start to compare myself to other people.\u00a0 This thinking leads to the inevitable human response: <em>Why me?<\/em>\u00a0 I live a lot more healthfully than many other people.\u00a0 I have a good diet, I exercise, I don&#8217;t smoke, I don&#8217;t drink, none of my close relatives have rheumatoid arthritis.\u00a0 What did I do to deserve this?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s pointless question.\u00a0 There&#8217;s no medical explanation for why I have this disease.\u00a0 No one knows why.\u00a0 I might as well just view it as bad luck.\u00a0 Moreover, even if I could divine an explanation, it wouldn&#8217;t change my well being&#8211;I&#8217;d still have the disease.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s much more productive to focus on what I can affect.\u00a0 The Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span class=\"markup--quote markup--p-quote is-other\" data-creator-ids=\"anon\">We should always be asking ourselves: \u201cIs this something that is, or is not, in my control?\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Beyond seeing a doctor and taking drugs, I have little, if any control, over the disease itself.\u00a0 Some days I can barely control the symptoms.\u00a0 All I can really control is how I react to them.<\/p>\n<p>That being the case, the best response for me is to accept the disease, and its limitations, as matter-of-factly as possible.\u00a0 When the symptoms aren&#8217;t being managed or are behaving erratically, I must adapt daily to overcome any problems they present.<\/p>\n<p>To illustrate this in practice, here&#8217;s an example from last week.\u00a0 On Wednesday I attended a seminar at the law school.\u00a0 I parked several blocks away, where it&#8217;s free.\u00a0 Due to procrastination and traffic, I reached campus later than I should have (something I could control with better planning).\u00a0 My hip was recovering from an aforementioned &#8220;palindromic rheumatism,&#8221; so my walking was slow and labored (something I couldn&#8217;t control).<\/p>\n<p>In short, I couldn&#8217;t walk fast enough to make it to the meeting on time.\u00a0 I caught myself becoming aggravated at how long it took me to climb the hill, how haltingly I went down the other side, and how I could only go up the stairs one step at a time\u00a0 (my attitude, which I do control).\u00a0 As I limped along, some students passed me.\u00a0 I had to stop myself from wistfully thinking about how I, too, once rushed about campus between classes (a change I can&#8217;t control).<\/p>\n<p>Comparing my walk to that of others, or my healthy self, doesn&#8217;t get me to my destination any faster.\u00a0 Nor does it improve my mood&#8211;to the contrary, it&#8217;s depressing.<\/p>\n<p>All I can constructively do is to keep pushing forward, at whatever speed is possible.\u00a0 Some days it will be faster, some days it will be slower.\u00a0 Such is the ebb and flow of life.\u00a0 We each march to the beat of our own rhythm, as we journey along our unique path.<\/p>\n<p>This isn&#8217;t an easy lesson to learn, but it&#8217;s one I must master to maintain my equanimity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<a href=\"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/2018\/04\/palindromic-rheumatisms\/\" rel=\"bookmark\" title=\"Permalink to Palindromic Rheumatisms\"><p>So far 2018 has been a physical challenge for me. The year got off to an inauspicious start.\u00a0 On January 10, while I was riding my bicycle, I felt a sudden pain in my left knee.\u00a0 It subsided for the rest of the ride, but over the next day it became apparent that something wasn&#8217;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2716","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"h-entry","8":"hentry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2716","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2716"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2716\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2726,"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2716\/revisions\/2726"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2716"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2716"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.brianarner.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2716"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}