Via The General is a web site which will come in handy if you are a parent looking for an affordable rod to swat your child. Because “a single swat has more influence than a thousand threats.”
“Joey” and his crew of volunteer craftsmen offer free, handcrafted paddles ($5.75 for shipping to those outside New Kensington, PA–offer good only in USA) to needy parents. Who says you can’t get anything for free anymore?
These aren’t your run-of-the-mill paddles, either. Craftsman Joey puts “a lot of myself into each thing I create including sweat and sometimes tears.” Hard to find that these days.
But wait–there’s more! In addition to the paddles, Joey offers online resources for better parenting. There’s the downloadable appointment cards, so you can give your child a reminder of his or her upcoming spanking. And a suggested punishment matrix, to establish the correct number of swats for frequent offenses (e.g., two swats for cursing, five swats for drinking). But remember, for best results allow one minute of meditation between each swat, so your child will understand why they are being punished. And only use force sufficient to “get the child’s attention” [calibrate your paddle by swatting yourself on the rump and adjusting your swing].
People say it’s tough being a parent these days . . . I don’t know about that. With resources like this available, how can you go wrong?